Monday, March 21, 2011

Howard’s Inner Circle, No. 30: “Yes! No. Yes! Has Nothing to Do With Uncertainty

When someone asks for you to agree to do something you can say Yes, No, or avoid responding. Since giving an accommodating yes bothers me and not responding usually upsets me, I have always wished I could say no better.

A “Yes! No. Yes!” may be the solution. In his book, The Power of a Positive No—How to Say No and Still Get to Yes, William Ury explains the first Yes expresses your interests and value. The No asserts your power. The second Yes furthers your relationship often by having a plan B that is at the ready to suggest.

A natural No is seen not as a rigid and inflexible position, but rather a firm stance that flows organically from your interests.
Based on his years acting as a negotiator in economic and political disputes, Ury believes that the key to facilitating a satisfactory agreement is to arrive at one that reflects not just your interests but the other party’s interest as well.
© 2011
The above may be reproduced in full if that fact is stated and Howard Wolosky at is credited as the author.

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